A Friend posed these questions;
Have you ever felt so alone that your heart hurt?
Have you ever experienced a time when you felt even God had left you?
Have you ever felt the sting of rejection and wondered why?
Have you ever just sat and cried for what seems no reason at all?
Have you ever……
That’s the way my week began.
We have a major event, the Women’s Conference, scheduled for this Friday and Saturday. On the Sunday following the conference, we have guest female OUTSTANDING preachers, usually from out of town, to preach during our 3 morning services. We are a mega-church, so this is a mega-sized event. Being married to one on pastoral staff has its privileges. We have reserved seating, usually in the front, and there are catered receptions. Because I am Pastor T’s wife, it is not expected that I volunteer to work, but, I always like to serve. I volunteered to serve, attended the volunteers weekly meetings over the past 2 months, but, as of Monday the leaders had nothing for me to do. I was kind of down about that.
Then Tuesday, after another visit with the foot doctor, and yet another bad report of my declining condition, I left the office feeling depressed. So I went to Dillard’s to clear my head before I go to my husband’s office to drop the news on him. It was one of those got to tell him to his face things. By the way, a Peter Nygard jacket did call out my name, so I took it out of display misery and purchased it. LOL! I’ve never made depression purchases, so I realized just how messed up my mind was.
I was thinking about my “call” and my “condition”. I began to question my call. Why would God call me to preach when I am in so much pain? Why is my condition worsening? So, I had my 10 minute pity party and then headed to the church.
When I entered the church building, headed to my husband’s office, I was immediately stopped and called into Bishop’s office by his assistant. I’m thinking what did I do? What now?! Well, he needed me to reschedule Bishop’s preaching date at the Prison. So, I’m like WHEW!
But then he said something that put my “call” and “condition” back into perspective. He said, “Bishop wants you to preach this Sunday during the 10 o’clock service.” WHAT?!!!! WOW!!!! What an honor! This is HUGE! God knew I needed encouragement. But he did abundantly, exceeding, above all that I could ask or think. The opportunity for an associate minister to preach during a Sunday service says a lot about the preacher. Bishop only selects the best, especially on this particular weekend—-so, I’m like REALLY??!!! Basically, God confirmed the call in a way I wasn’t expecting.
And so it finally adds up why my service wasn’t needed this year in the capacity I thought I’d be in. I wasn’t needed to serve at the conference, usually as an armor bearer to our guest, because I will be one of Sunday’s “guest speakers.”
So, when I got to my hubbie’s office, I went back to depression mode, only for a few minutes. I needed to justify purchasing that jacket. LOL!
