God instructs a wife to respect her husband: “.....let the wife see to it that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33b NKJV). A wife is commanded to respect her husband. With a little reflection it becomes clear that her admiration can have a major impact in his inspiration and motivation to confidently carry out his role as a husband and father. Her genuine appreciation enables her husband to see himself as capable of handling life’s responsibilities.
A wife must regularly “stroke her man’s ego”. In the world, stroking an ego carries a negative connotation, however, let’s break down the phrase to discover what it really means. To “stroke”, by definition is to gently rub. An “ego” is one’s self-esteem or how one feels about himself. When you stroke your husband’s ego, you in fact are rubbing and caressing him with respect, admiration, and words of encouragement, gently, taking care not to over inflate his pride. You stroke his ego, because you genuinely love and adore your husband —there are no hidden agendas and no motives for gifts and/or gestures in return. In essence you are making him feel better about himself.
A man is beaten up by the pressures of society almost daily. He doesn’t want to come home to be criticized, humiliated, degraded, insulted and/or belittled by his wife. A husband needs a wife to build him up without focusing on his failures but highlighting his successes. If the only thing he does well is open a jar of mayonnaise, lovingly tell him:
Baby, that was so very impressive the way you opened that jar of mayo. I’ve never seen anyone work a jar the way you do. And when you put your strength into turning and forcing the jar open, your biceps seem to stand up at attention---I get so turned on. Can’t nobody open a mayo jar like you do!
Okay, that maybe a bit extreme, but you should get the idea. In a marriage, a wife must remember why you married your husband, and then never let him forget it. Focus on what you love about your man.
A husband wants to feel like he is the most important person in your life;
More important than your mother More important than your friends More important than your children More important than your job More important than your Pastor More important than your pets Even more important than cousin Ray-Ray
Admiration also rewards the husband’s existing achievements. A woman needs to appreciate her husband for what he already is, not for what he could become, if he lived up to her standards.
Criticism deflates and wounds a man’s spirit, causing him to become defensive—admiration energizes and motivates him. A man expects and needs his wife to be his cheerleader and number one fan.
Remember DIVAS, men thrive on appreciation. Honestly evaluate your relationship with your husband in light of God’s Word. If you are practicing respect, praise God! If there is room for improvement, be truthful with God, yourself, and your husband. Ask Him for the grace to be the kind of wife He desires you to be. A woman who wants to be treated like a queen must treat her husbands like a king.
Finally, you must admire your husband emotionally, physically & spiritually.
Emotionally---- Let him know that he is a good leader & provider. Encourage him in his headship. Let him know that he makes you feel good in bed. That help's to pump up a man's ego & give him confidence in himself. He will not know that he is doing a good job if you don't tell him. Physically----Tell him what turns you on about his body. I don't care if he looks like the Pillsbury Dough Boy, something about him should be attractive to you. Guess what, if he doesn't here those affirmations from you, satan will send a sister ready & willing to make those deposits. Spiritually-----Encourage him in his walk with the Lord. Admire his headship over the family. One of the things I tell my husband often is he is a good provider to our family and a wonderful father and husband. I also compliment him after each sermon or Bible Study.
Ministering to the TOTAL woman Giving practical help for women to be all she can be to the Glory of God.