BUILDING BETTER HOMES:
SERIES ON PREMARTIAL COUNSELING

Text: Genesis 2:18-25

Session #1: Starting with a Good Foundation

Introduction:

The costs of weddings have continued to increase each year.  It appears that every happy couple wants their wedding to be bigger and better than
their friends wedding.  It is not unheard of today for couples (or their parents) to spend $20,000 on the wedding.  That is a lot of money for one
day's event.

The sad news is that as the cost of weddings increase so does the divorce rate between married couples.  The divorce rate today is at a
staggering 50%.  Is it because couples spend more time thinking about the wedding day instead of the marriage?

I heard of this married couple who suffered through the most tragic of situations and still remained together.  He lost his good job as the top
executive and had to become a common laborer.  They lost their beautiful home and had to live in the hood.  Their oldest son murdered his brother
and had to serve time.  It seems like everything went wrong and yet they were able to stay a married couple.  Any one of these circumstances could
tear apart a family today.  

Let us take a look at this couple's secrets for a good solid marriage.  Read Genesis 2:18-25 in preparation for the following discussion.


A. There Must Be A CONNECTION (v 23):

1. Adam chose Eve because he realized there was a connection on the physical, emotional, and spiritual levels.  He had observed all of God's
creation and acknowledged that Eve connected with him better than any other creature.

2. That is why the Bible says that believers should not be unequally yoked with non-believers.  There is no connection on the spiritual level.

3. A marriage has a chance when spouses realize their mate chose them over the rest of God's creation.  Your friend could have chose someone
else but he/she did not, they chose you.

4. Give three reasons why you choose to marry this person.

5. Connection does not mean clone.  Don't try and make your future spouse a clone of you.  Adam celebrated the likeness and differences he saw
in Eve.  She was like him in many ways yet different.  That is why he called her Woman (a man with a womb) because of her differences.

6. Accept the differences because they compliment us and make us stronger.  Eve was able to do what Adam could not  bear children.

7. Give three examples of how you two are similar and three examples of how you are different.


B. There Must Be COMMITMENT (v 24)

1. God spoke this passage, read Matthew 19:4,5.  The husband must make a commitment to the wife and visa versa.

2. Marriage is not for "Mama Boys" but men.  Brothers you must be willing to leave and cleave to your new wife.

3. The best thing any husband can do is to let father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, friend, job, and church know that your wife comes first
in your life.  This does two things.  First it puts everyone on notice where they stand in your pecking order and second it calms any fears that a new
bride may have.

4. A marriage is two separate, unique, and whole individuals held together by a covenant.  Other words for covenant includes contract, agreement,
vow, and commitment.

5. Once a commitment is made you shall become one flesh.

6. Have you thought about the commitment that you are making to the other person when you marry them?


C. There Must Be COMMUNICATION (v 25)

1. The nakedness that Adam and Eve shared was more than physical.  They were able to share a total openness with each other and not be
ashamed by it.  You are most vulnerable when you are naked.

2. Communication is one of the most important, yet, difficult thing for couples to do.

3. Can you be open and honest to your future mate about anything?  If not, does it have to do with some disappointment from your past?

4. Realize that men and women communicate differently.  Most men have a difficult time sharing feelings, pain, disappointment, etc., with
someone else.  Therefore the ladies must be patient but continue to work on communication.

5. Understand that we communicate verbally and non-verbally.  Learn the other person's body language.
Ministering to the TOTAL woman
Giving practical help for women to be all she can be to the Glory of God.
Divinely - Inspired - Virtuous - Anointed – Sistas